This blog is for you if you’ve felt like your worth depends on your looks even when that sounds absolutely ridiculous to say out loud. As a therapist in Detroit who specializes in self-worth, body image, and relationships, I want you to know that I hear versions of this all the time. You’re not alone and it isn’t your fault.

There’s no trick here – external validation is exactly as it sounds. External validation is when you receive positive feedback from people around you. This can be from friends, family members, coworkers, strangers on the internet, or romantic partners. You might be reading this in hopes of learning how to stop needing external validation. I hear all the time that people feel “addicted” to validation and feel a sense of shame for what they describe as needing constant validation. You might feel pressure to stop relying on others and to increase your own confidence.

You might feel pressure to figure this all out on your own and to just “love yourself” into feeling better. However, it’s often times a fantasy that this is the kind of work we can do alone. It isn’t that therapists have magical answers, but more that we can be with you in the process and figure out the answers together.

The answer to the question Why Am I Not Good Enough truly is, “It Depends.”