Benefits of Breaking Up -Part 2
As I shared in part one of the benefits of ending a relationship, I love supporting people through this transition because I hold onto the faith that you can come out on the other side of the breakup with a better idea of who you are, a greater sense of peace with your past, and a vision for how you want your life to move forward. This is a tall order, but completely realistic! In part one, we talked about relief, clarity, and community. In this second part, we will highlight opportunities for changes, sexual exploration and investing energy back into yourself.
Opportunity
The opportunity to navigate the world as a single person might mean greater access to other changes, big or small. I’m envisioning the chance to move, to reconsider social circles, or even something as simple as adjusting your sleep schedule to better fit your own natural cadence. There’s a way in which even in the best relationships it is normal to account for your needs as a team, and there is an opportunity for freedom to not have to do that. If you’re in need of a gentle reminder that you now have the ability to start fresh in imagining and creating a life that works for you, this is it!
Sexual Exploration
This is a great time to get really honest with yourself about how you are feeling about your sexuality. In the broadest sense, this is a time to reflect on your gender identity, who you are attracted to, what kind of sex you want to be having or not having, and how comfortable you feel pursuing what you want. This is a time to reflect on your relationship with your body and how negative feelings about your body have impacted your sexuality. For example, are there messages about your self worth and the types of partners or sex you can have based on the way your body looks?
This gets really deep really quickly, because we’re talking about our core sense of self-worth and worthiness of love. Breakups tend to stir this up because loss can feel like an invitation to replay these old stories about ourselves. You have the power to disrupt these stories and continue your sexual life with confidence that you can have what you want and that you are worthy of what you want.
Energy
The time and effort that was going into the relationship can now go right back into you. I like to visualize energy going back into me when I decide to end a relationship of any type, or realize I have been pouring too much of myself into someone or something. Someone once taught me to even imagine the color of the energetic connection so that I really understand what it is that I’m gaining by reinvesting in myself.
In concrete ways, this can show up as choosing self-care activities that are replenishing, and taking time regularly for self-reflection.
This might mean investing time in:
Therapy
Joyful movement
Journaling
Meditating
Taking walks
Learning something new
Arts & crafts
There is more time and energy available to finally process old, painful memories, or get care around old heartaches. It’s common to feel more motivated to discover your best, truest self, and I can’t think of a more worthy place to put your energy. If you need more support in the process, don’t hesitate to email me.